serene ambition™

transforming the culture of aging

Archive for October, 2006

The Challenge

Posted by Jim Selman on 10/31/06

man-in-ba_26oct06.jpgThis is probably the last post before heading North and another change of season. The hardest thing about this kind of long-distance travel is trying to balance winter/summer wardrobes. Thank goodness for big suitcases. I am coming to the conclusion that an “Urban Lifestyle” is my preferred option in coming years.

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Denial Revisited

Posted by Jim Selman on 10/31/06

Being in denial is like having a blind spot in your car—you need a rearview mirror and some competence to use it or you’ll end up having a million accidents that are always someone else’s fault (usually the person driving behind you!).

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Posted by Jim Selman on 10/30/06

Being objective about yourself is extremely difficult and rare. That’s why denial is normal, even inevitable. The real problem happens when you deny that you are in denial. That’s when you can begin to believe your own point of view, which can lead to a terrible case of self-righteousness. So how do you know you are in denial when you are in denial?

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Cynical Ambition

Posted by Jim Selman on 10/27/06

Since I starting blogging a couple of months ago, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night with something inside me screaming to be said. Tonight it is cynical ambition. What I mean by that is the kind of “Do anything for power — or money, or sex, or fame”. You can fill in the ‘it’ that people will do anything to have.

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Posted in Age Rage | 1 Comment »

Growing Older in Buenos Aires

Posted by Jim Selman on 10/26/06

woman-in-ba_27oct06.jpgI am in Buenos Aires for a couple of weeks. I come a few times a year to work with clients and I have a kind of love affair with the Latin energy and enthusiasm for life one can feel here. This trip I am paying particular attention to the scene from the point-of-view of getting older and my enthusiasm for this blog and our project to transform the culture of aging.

It is interesting how we always see what we are looking for. In the past, I was focused on the numbers of young, good-looking and committed ‘young people’. I was teaching at a University here and it seemed as if everyone on the streets, in the coffee shops and in restaurants were younger than I was. This trip, it looks like everyone is over 50 and many are much older than that.

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Posted in Fearless Aging | 1 Comment »


Posted by Lilly Page on 10/25/06

I was watching Oprah recently, a program featuring a few of our famous stars speaking on aging. They were talking about this whole idea of what your real age is. One was only 50, so just a baby to me, the other was 65 and didn’t look more than 55, but the one that caught my eye was Diahann Carol at 71 years old. Yikes, she looked fabulous!!!!

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Posted in Fearless Aging | 3 Comments »

Life Coaching

Posted by Jim Selman on 10/24/06

man-reading_ba.jpgCrabby Old Lady took a swipe at life coaches yesterday. I commented to her that the same might be said of lawyers, heath care providers and financial counselors. The fact is there are many opportunistic and unqualified people calling themselves coaches. While I can agree with her concern, I cannot let her sweeping generalization impune the work of thousands of committed and competent individuals.

What I want to point out is that, as an emerging field and profession, coaching is attempting to address the question of how do you empower people to ‘break through’ their habits and patterns and CREATE their own future as distinct from simply coping with circumstances and living in their comfort zone.

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Posted in Making a Difference | 1 Comment »


Posted by Jim Selman on 10/24/06

I don’t know that I agree with Crabby Old Lady’s idea to vote out the entire Congress in the bi-annual elections on November 7th. But I sure think we should vote and have our experience and wisdom speak.

I also don’t think we should turn ‘Boomers’ into a one-issue constituency —“aging issues such as social security, Medicare and so forth”. We should certainly speak if we having something to say about those issues, but more importantly, we should be taking responsibility for the whole of our nation’s well-being, and that means being reasonably informed and engaged on a broad spectrum of issues.

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Posted by Jim Selman on 10/23/06

I don’t think that age is personal. I know it feels like it is ‘me’ that is getting older, but I don’t experience myself as older. If anything, I experience my ‘self’ as being ‘better’ than at any time I can remember over the past 64 years. I feel more ‘alive’, more engaged, more present and more satisfied than ever. It is true that my body can’t run, wrestle or climb as easily as in the past. I make love more often than in the best moments of my youth and, best of all, I am experienced enough to enjoy it more. While age is always relative, I can’t really think of anything about being my age that isn’t wonderful. Moreover, I am looking forward to every day being the best yet.

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Posted in Culture of Aging, Personal Empowerment | 1 Comment »

Too tired

Posted by Shae Hadden on 10/20/06

It’s the battle cry of couch potatoes everywhere: “I’m too tired to do anything but watch TV.”

The secret language of couples that says so much more: “Not now, honey, I’m too tired…”

Parent’s pat excuse for eating fast food: “Let’s order take-out tonight. I’m too tired to cook…”

Employees incessant murmur: “I wish I could retire…I am so tired of this bullshit….”

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Posted in Personal Empowerment | 1 Comment »