serene ambition™

transforming the culture of aging


Posted by Dr. Anne Marie Evers on 10/19/06

I was having lunch with my friend Lori and her sister Carol, whom I had not met before, last week. We’re all about the same age, and our conversation started out very pleasantly. Then after a while, Carol started expounding in a monotone voice about how terrible it was to be getting older and how she absolutely hated the aging process. She talked for 45 minutes in great detail about her aches and pains, her failing eyesight and hearing, and her husband’s lack of interest in her sexually. She concluded that she probably could not attract men any more.I finally got to ask her if she was happy. She replied, “Happy, how could you ask such a question? I used to be the prettiest girl in my class and now look at me. I’m 68, a disaster and over the hill.” I realized that, even though we’re the same age, my perspective on aging at least allows me to be happy.

I think that’s because I believe getting older is about getting better.

I do whatever I wish, go wherever I choose and do whatever I want. I have money to travel and a host of wonderful friends. My children are grown and I have no obligations to tie me down. I love what I do, and it doesn’t feel like ‘work’ at all. I feel renewed and joyous. Life just keeps getting better and better. I am the happiest I’ve ever been.

Carol responded as if I was some kind of Pollyana, and Lori tried to apologize for her sister’s rudeness. Neither reaction bothered me: I know who I am, what I am thinking and what I am doing. Their responses were entirely ‘theirs’. Carol restated her desire to be happy, adding, “Is that asking too much? Everything and everyone is out to get me. No one likes me.”

It sometimes amazes me how people forget they have the power within to make their dreams a reality. And that they actually believe other people would take time out of their busy lives to make someone else’s life miserable.

Your life is whatever you choose—and it all starts with what you’re thinking.

If you’re choosing to believe that aging is about your body falling apart, your looks fading and your sex appeal diminishing, then that is what you’ll experience.

If you choose to believe aging is about living life to the fullest, being the happiest, most satisfied and most loved you’ve ever been, then the second half of life will be your best.

I suggested to Carol that, if she wanted to change her life, she start with forgiving herself for choosing to think of her life in such a negative way. And then to forgive everyone and everything that has ever hurt her.

After we’ve forgiven ourselves for believing what our culture tells us growing older is, can we come to love, respect and approve of who we are…And that is the beginning of a happiness that will last a lifetime.


One Response to “Happiness”

  1. Rhea said

    It really is all about perspective. I am trying to be positive all the way through, starting now.

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